There are times in any relationship that the passion wanes and the relationship dwindles. If this trend continues unabated, break up inevitably occurs. But breaking up is not the end of the relationship. In fact, it would be more advisable to be friends with your ex after all your issues have been resolved. If you want to get back together with ex, you can follow these three steps to rebuilding the attraction.

Naturally, you should still have the connection with your ex. It means that you have forgiven each other and recognized that both of you committed mistakes and displayed immaturities. When you have arrived at this level of understanding, then it means that you are also open to the possibility of rebuilding the attraction between you.

The first step you should follow to get back together with ex is to start enjoying each others company. It could be a dinner date for old times sake or an informal get together at a local bagel shop or bar. When you get together, it means that you have resolved your issues and you have no hang ups with each other. Bitterness is a difficult thing to handle. You had better let go with such feelings. You will not be punishing the other person if you harbor bitterness, you are punishing yourself. Why dont you let go of those bitterness and instead try to get back together with ex through these three steps to rebuilding the attraction.

Secondly, when you get together, you can reminisce about your good times together. This is a good way for you to remember the feelings you used to have with each other. When you go to places you used to go, the emotions and the passions you used to have for each other would start welling back into the surface. Naturally, there will also be times that old wounds may open again. In this regard, both of you should have the maturity and the openness to deal with them without fear and squirming. The past is the past and no amount of dealing and wallowing with them will change what happened. This leads us to the third part of the three steps to rebuilding the attraction.

Be honest with your feelings with your ex. Since you still love her, why dont you tell her so? You have to be careful though and be sensitive to her situation. Do not be oversensitive though as it might take you forever to get back together with ex.

At the breakup of a long term relationship or marriage there are many who are still thinking to themselves, “I’m still in love with my ex.” This is common, so you are not alone in your thinking. You probably still have some hope that you can get them back. Even if things seem bleak right now and hope is little, it does not mean you cant get your ex back. Not only can you get them back, but the relationship can be stronger than ever. But, when you find that you are saying, “I’m still in love with my ex”, and you are longing to get your relationship back you will have to make it stronger if it has more of a chance to last.

Be careful in your anxiousness to get your lover back. For those impatiently declaring “I’m still in love with my ex” you may be too quick to turn back the hands of time. You may get what you ask for now, but if done incorrectly you may have the same final results that you experienced before.

The best place to begin is at ground zero. Take the time to figure out what mistakes were made in the previous relationship and also how the mistakes had an impact on the relationship. This will begin the process of building a stronger love than was present before. Starting all over again from scratch is the way to get back the one you love. You have to behave smarter this second time around, so tell yourself, “Yes, I’m still in love with my ex, but I want it to be better this time around.”

Let your renewed relationship happen naturally, and not in a contrived manor. Start up a friendship with your ex first, but take it slowly. If your ex feels that you are just trying to jump back into the relationship and things will be no different, than getting back together may not happen. It’s an age old saying, but if you are supposed to be together than it will happen.

You may experience a lot of crying and depression after your breakup but dont let your ex see it. Try your best to think positively as well. Most plans only succeed if you think positively. Acting depressed to your ex is more of a turn off than not. They probably would think “I dont want that in my life.” But, if they sense you are actually happy they will be curious as to what is going on, and re-think the breakup.

Ask yourself, “What type of person would I like to be with?” Would your ex like to be with that type as well? The majority of people want to hang around happy people who can create happiness in other’s lives too. That is the type of person you will want to be. Try to be someone that is in a good mood, can make others smile and can make a person feel they are wanted in life. Make your ex feel special to you.

You will be able to get your ex back and regain that love again if you can make yourself valuable to your ex. As well you want to make them feel needed by you. A balance of both is necessary. It is one thing to say, “I’m still in love with my ex”, but unless you take your time in building a stronger foundation than you had before you will not be able to get the love you had back as well as a stronger relationship.

My lover is not Loyal to Me “, a girl assumed. Before you tell the break up idea and shatter her feelings more, attempt to advise these six steps to salvage the mutual understanding.

Your closest colleague whos sitting right in front of you, broke the news of unexpected betrayal. It was obvious she was trying to hold back the painful tears of unfaithfulness. Feeling angered, you wanted to convince her to dump him but that was quite harsh to tell to someone who puts so much hope in a relationship. So you thought of alternatives that would iron things out for her.

Feel the pain.

When someone you love fools around, you either get so disappointed it hurts you or so mad it hurts you still. The bottom line is theres no way of escaping the pang of disloyalty. Instead of refusing to admit it, acknowledge its within you. Sob your heartaches out, write every letter of pain in your diary and yes, you may show that sad look on your face. Not recognizing the anguish wont get you to the solution of the problem.

Dont put yourself down.

The issue may affect your self-esteem and it may cause self-pity. When feelings like these tend to develop, give yourself some respect, the value that he should have observed in your relationship. Stop thinking somebody else deserves his affection because of your flaws. Blaming yourself solely for his dissatisfaction will only hinder you from evaluating events and facts.

Have a break.

When youre not prepared to see your partner yet, do something else to reinvigorate yourself. An old hobby, a hilarious movie or a good read might temporarily ease your misery. But be reminded that prolonging this wont solve the real issue. If you continue presenting yourself in an unaffected mode, he might take advantage of your tolerance and make the situation worse.

Make the confrontation healthy.

The boyfriend-is-cheating-on-me matter wont be resolved by snooping over his emails or text messages to prove what hes guilty of. Without attacking him or defending yourself, discuss what the problem really is. Stay calm during your conversation and buckle up your maddened spirit in the backseat. He must elaborate the factors why he strayed. He will only tell you if you look calm enough to understand. Addressing the behavior and not the person will help you deal with the problem objectively.

Make decisions.

If your boyfriend asks for forgiveness for the hurt he has caused you, dont just let him promise he will never do such mistake again. Ask him to make decisions to strengthen your relationship. Emphasize that doing the same old habits will only put your relationship on the rocks and will not do you any good. He should give details of his appointments and the people hes meeting. As he talks, listen to his words and the underlying intentions. If he isnt, dont let him pull your legs once more.

Rebuild trust.

Regaining lost trust has never been easy. Once your boyfriend two-times you, its just difficult to have faith in him again. Time plays a great factor in healing the wound. You will recover faster though if hes always true to his words in his second chance. If the past continuously haunts you, try to focus on his positive side and your wonderful memories together. Nothing can be done with the past but your heart has instincts whether he deserves your regained trust or not.

When your buddy says, “My boyfriend is cheating on me,” she is certainly having a hard time. Listen to her as she relay the heartbreaking story and remind her that raising the middle finger in anger and kicking him out of her life are not the only alternatives. Who knows, giving him a chance to make up for his stupid mistake might lead your relationship to a stronger path.

Put this in your thoughts, decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved. Both parties must decide that they want to try to make it work. If one of the partners has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little hope that it can be done.

Staying in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. Is now the right thing to do. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by all parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem in the relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. Which is not always true.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can always save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts with your partner. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, start an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together one day in the week. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.