Category: Relationship

Marriage Counseling Utilize The Waiter Rule To Evaluate A Date Or Partner

Working my way through college, I waited tables and tended bar. Though I have several degrees with an emphasis on human behavior and psychology, I swear I learned more about people from slinging hash and pouring drinks. I can remember accidentally spilling a few drops of an ice cream drink on a lady’s skirt and being totally humiliated as she screamed at me in the restaurant. I also recall a very kind man who didn’t get upset even though there were repeated problems with his order.

Rudeness to service staff reveals information about a person’s character reported in a recent article in USA Today. Office Depot CEO Steve Odland, who also waited tables as a teenager, states, “You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats a waiter.” It seems that he is not the only CEO to discover the “Waiter Rule.”

The Waiter Rule has been identified by many executives, including Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson. There is one rule that Swanson says never fails: “A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person.” Swanson first identified this phenomenon when he was eating with a man who became irate to a waiter because the restaurant did not stock a particular wine.

“Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with,” Swanson writes. “Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.”

The Waiter Rule has also been noticed on the dating scene. A November survey of
2,500 by It’s Just Lunch, a dating service for professionals, found that being rude to waiters ranks No. 1 as the worst in dining etiquette. Some waiters report that women will actually pull them aside to see how much their dates tipped to obtain insight into his use of money and other tendencies.

The Waiter Rule can also apply to how people treat those in other service roles like bellmen, hotel maids, clerks and secretaries according to USA Today. This can be more indicative of someone’s character than all the charm you experience in the relationship.

Using the Waiter Rule can be an accurate predictor of character because it isn’t easily learned or unlearned. It is more likely a person’s true colors and speaks to how they were raised and their value system. How a potential partner treats a waiter may be how they will treat you.

Some behaviors that indicate a problem:

*Playing the power card. Comments like “I could buy this place,” or “Do you know who I am?” reveal more about the diner’s character than his wealth or power. It is unlikely that he will be compassionate to you if he is consumed with power and control.

*Having a short fuse. This person may have an ego that is out of control. It is a way of saying that she is better than the wait staff; she is special. These people tend not to be collaborative in relationships.

*Demanding about every detail. You may be looking at a micro-manager who consistently sends the message that your efforts are not good enough. He may be critical and demeaning rather than supportive and encouraging.

*Speaking in a condescending manner. The message here is clear; she thinks she is better than those in subordinate positions. She may have a need to feel important by putting others down.

*Making a public scene. If he embarrasses you in the restaurant, he will embarrass you at home. At best he has poor manners, at worst, his judgment is faulty. Either way, he will not make a good partner.

*Easily turning on and off the charm. These folks have situational values, which may also indicate situational ethics. People with firm character adhere to their value system regardless of the circumstances. Avoid these people like the plague.

*Constantly looking around the room. Rather than being focused on the table conversation, he is distracted and not engaged. He may be looking to see who else is there or whether he is being noticed. Regardless, he will have the same behavior with you in other settings.

*Poor tipper. She may justify leaving a poor tip with various complaints about the service or the waiter. Anyone who has ever worked in a service industry knows that it is very hard work with a low base pay. If the service is adequate, a 15% tip is customary. A twenty percent or more gratitude is standard for exceptional service.

Try using the Waiter Rule whether you are evaluating a partner in a relationship. You may save yourself a lot of future problems by dining out.

Top Reasons Relationship Depression Starts And How To Overcome It

Did you know that depression in a relationship is quite common? It usually means that something is wrong in the relationship that one or both people acknowledge but do not know how to change the problem. When depression in a relationship happens, it’s essential that it gets fixed or the relationship may completely dissolve. Many bad relationships are the cause behind relationship depression.

How Does Relationship Depression Start?

What causes depression in a relationship to begin? Actually, there are three main causes as to why relationship depression begins. They include:

(1) Letdown Feelings – Many times relationship depression begins when one person has been let down by their significant other. Their dreams have not been fulfilled and they no longer feel hopeful staying in the relationship.

(2) Loss of Control – It can also occur when one person is too controlling over the relationship. The person becoming depressed in the relationship has to do things a certain way including selection of clothes, cooking, cleaning the house, etc. Too much power is given to one person and the other feels insignificant. Thus relationship depression begins because the dominated person has no control over his or her own life.

(3) Pretending – Sometimes, when a relationship begins, people don’t act like themselves. They tend to hide who they are for fear of rejection or opening up. If you are like this, it’s likely that you feel that revealing who you really are will make your partner leave you. When you aren’t yourself, you lead yourself into a relationship depression. After all, the relationship is based on a lie and no one can lie about who they really are without becoming depressed.

You Can Stave Off Relationship Depression

A person who is depressed in a relationship will need considerable help getting over it. There are ways this can be done and it will take patience. If you know someone who is in a relationship depression, here are some things you can do.

First, be around for them. It’s important to be a friend and listen to them whenever they are ready to talk. They need to feel like someone is on their side so do so for them.

Second, help them out physically around the house. They don’t feel like doing much when they are depressed and this goes for chores too. Lend them a hand until they feel up to doing things once more.

Third, make sure they get up out of bed. While this may seem easy to you, when a person is suffering depression in a relationship, they are going to need a little extra push.

Fourth, remember to love them unconditionally, with no strings attached. It’s normal to feel frustrated by the relationship depression but they have to know that you are not upset with them by the situation, only about the situation itself.

Fifth, find some outside help. Often times, just talking about the problem that’s causing the relationship depression can help. Other times, people will need medication to overcome depression. Don’t be afraid to seek out help if you feel it goes beyond what you can do.

Wife swapping India getting popular in the adult dating sites

Are you new to the world of dating in India? Well, you need to be careful as the industry is treading in several zones that might make you feel, shocking, disgusting or absurd. For example, wife swapping India may sound like downright bizarre, but the fact is that many people are getting inclined towards such services. There are several online adult dating websites that are offering such wife swapping services because numerous people are finding it great fun and an exciting way to make life enjoyable.

There are some couples that seek other couples for experiencing different sexual pleasure. Therefore, the industry of dating in India is gradually introducing services of adult swingers who offer sexual pleasure by exchanging partners. There are several adult dating sites that offer swinger services like wife swapping India. It depends on the couples whether they want to involve in a sexual act with the swingers or want to go full wife swapping.

A certain trend is being noticed nowadays where using wife swapping India services is considered as a part of lifestyle by some people. They consider it cool and a great source of fun by swapping wives and engaging into kinky sexual activities. The industry of dating in India is slowly waking up to this concept by providing a platform for such interested people who want to engage into wife swapping. This trend and lifestyle are quite popular in Australia and now slowly it is picking up in the conservative land like India.

There are many sex swingers working as online dating professionals. They can offer services according to various demands such as dual, trio, combination of four or group sex with more partners. There are particular services for gay or lesbian group sex as well. In fact, newlywed couples are also taking part in such type of dating in India. They are entering into swinger lifestyle by becoming member of the online dating sites that offer wife swapping India services.

If you are interested to try wife swapping India then you need to join a club of swingers that offer such services. You can find such clubs and membership opportunities in several adult online dating sites as well. Enter into this field only if you are 100% sure. The culture of dating in India is going through a massive change and wife swapping is one of the prominent examples of such a change.

However you must be sure that you are using a reliable website that offers such services. You will definitely want to keep your information secret and hence it is essential that you make sure that the site is genuine. Once you sign up with such a website, then you will find several other couples who are also interested in similar activities. Search for the ideal partners until you find the best suitable option.

Are you considering into entering the field of wife swapping India? There are several online dating sites that offer such services. We can help you with what you want and also reveal secrets about this new type of dating in India.

Relationships The Secret To Long Lasting Romance

Being in love is one of the most beautiful experiences that a person can have. After all, we were made for love. We are made for someone and that is our usual hope and prayer, to be forever intertwined as lovers. If you are madly in love right now, you would probably ask or say, “O how I wish this love of ours to last for a lifetime.” It is easier said than done. The reality is that we need to work on the relationship so that the relationship can work for us. Here are some tips on how to make your relationship last.

One proven way for a long lasting relationship is prayer. Why is prayer included? It is because, in the totality of it, God has a greater plan for our love life. Once we pray together, we find our intentions purified and constantly evaluated to God’s divine standard. Praying enables us to live out God’s way of loving. And that is to be unconditional, honest, and faithful to your love one.

The second is to have simple talks together. A simple talk can lead to beautiful conversations of dreams and plans for both of you to look forward to.

Third is to think big in your relationship. That is not limiting your mindset to just having months together but rather expanding it though years of spending life with your love one. You will have enough reasons to stay in love because you see yourselves still together in the future.

Fourth, is having a regular evaluation and assessment about your relationship. This could be set on a monthly basis. This habit settles the concerns of both parties. It leads to better performance in your relationship since it is evaluated. It gets you from point A to B. It promotes forgiveness, assurance and trust, which are important elements to a long lasting relationship.

Fifth, is spending quality time together. We must not look at the quantity of our time spent but at the quality of it. It is important to regularly spend vacations together, to break out from work and stress and plainly just focus about your relationship together.

Sixth is to strive be the best that you can be. Getting better and better could mean that you are growing in your relationship. If you strive to be the best person, you will give enough reasons for your lover to keep you.

Seventh tip is to seek mentors. Find couples out there who have been there ahead of you. Seek their advice and guidance. They can help you when the going gets tough for you both.

Eight, is to practice the 5 A’s in the relationship. Affirm, Appreciate, Aspire, Assure, Affection

Ninth, is to do what’s the best for you both. Sometimes this involves waiting for the right time in your relationship. Seeing the best is doing what’s the best for you both, even if it entails sacrifice.

Tenth, is to set boundaries in your relationship. It could mean not going out on other dates or occasions where a problem could arise in your relationship.

Eleventh, is to stay true to your commitment. Being honest and loyal are virtues integral to a relationship.

Twelfth, is to indulge in humor. Create funny moments together. Do crazy things worth remembering. Take it easy sometimes. Enjoy the journey. After all, if that person can’t laugh with you, he or she can’t cry with you too.

These twelve tips is your road map to success in your relationship with your lover. Put your heart into it, and your heart will put into what you will do.

Woman Dating A mama’s boy, Restructure His Unhealthy Relationship

Dating a mama’s boy is not a laughing matter and many women love their husbands enough not to leave them. They want to help their men to recover and push on with life. In some cases some guys are the ones with a problem. Their moms have no issues and behave just like any other mother. The cause for such behavior in most instances is when a mother creates unhealthy dependency between the son and her when the child is growing up. The problem sets in when after adulthood the guy still remains hooked up to the mum. The mum lets all the strong attachments loose while the son feels he cannot face the world alone. He has got to have his mother on his side all the time. If you are a woman dating a mama’s boy you have to get psychological help because he is emotionally so dependent on the mother because he will never let his mother go or worse still he might try to turn you into his mother.

In another case, the mum might be the one who is not ready to cut the cord. As the woman in his son’s life you always suffer the consequences. The mother feels like you are competing for his son’s love. When you notice this as a woman dating a mama’s boy, you should not start being hard on him, you are a woman remember. You can use sweet words to get what you want. Gently coax your husband or boyfriend to be kind but set respectful boundaries with his mother. Let it not appear like you are trying to separate him from his mother. He has to be willing to pass the message. If you are used to visiting her every Sunday, you can suggest that you reduce that to once a month.

As a woman dating a mama’s boy you usually think of confronting his mother but is it a wise decision? It is not advisable at all because this is likely to cause a wedge in your relationship. This will force the guy to feel like he is being forced to choose between you and the mother. You are the stranger in the mix and so you can guess who will be thrown out. However if you are in a secure old relationship, you can decide its time for a little chat. Invite her for lunch and air out your concerns and remember to remain casual. “I sometimes feel like you do not let your son to be who he wants to be”. This is an example of an opening line you can use in your chat. Continue to explain that you want to be included in their relationship because you are a part of it.

It is possible to rehabilitate mama’s boy. A woman dating a mama’s boy who have got help has confessed to having a renewed uncontrolled relationship. This happens when the man in the unhealthy relationship acknowledges that he needs help. If your guy is young, you can encourage him to take baby steps. As he grows old he will need less energy and time to reconstruct his relationship with his mum. As a woman who is rehabilitating a mama’s boy, do it with a lot of empathy and a great sense of humor.